My idea of romance

A few weeks ago I found an article about being more romantic. I'm currently very single* so I don't get exposed to romance that much. Reading an article like that does not make me feel like I'm missing out. On the contrary. I laughed out loud or shuddered with repugnance** muttering "Eww!" to myself at most of the suggestions.

I'm not really the romantic type. At least not in a classical way. I typically find sappy romance stuff cheesy and most of all vomit inducing. I can think of 3 factors in this.

First of all personal preference. I'm not really that into poetry or fluffy stuffed animals with hearts attached. They just don't do anything for me. So giving me stuff like that would be giving me stuff I find pointless and let's face it: That really isn't romantic. I feel almost the same way about flowers. While they're initially pretty, they'll wither and I'll have to throw them away. And I feel bad throwing away something that other people made an effort to get me. An exception is wild flowers that people pick from their own garden. I can appreciate them knowing that they would wither in the garden as well.

The second factor is money. It is closely related to the first. I think a lot of the "romantic" stuff is just a waste of money. So on top of giving me something I find useless, you also waste money on it. Call me a materialistic geek but I can't help but think of all the gadgets the same money could have bought! I mean, bouquets of flowers are expensive. It doesn't take take that many before you could have bought a Wi-Fi base station instead! And I know what I prefer given the choice between the two.

The third is my idea of relationships. This is mostly in connection with disgusting poems. To me a relationship is about two*** independent equals deciding to partner up because it seems better than just being one. The whole "You complete me" or "You're my other half" is a bit too codependent for my taste. It implies that you only make sense in connection with the other person. When you're by yourself, you apparently have a huge void that makes you less of a person and prevents you from living fully. That's bullshit! I'm fully capable and functional by myself. As Alanis Morissette put it "I don't wanna be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2".

I also loathe the dependent "I need you", "You're my life", or "I cannot live without you". Get a life. Really. Saying stuff like that is not romantic. It is just creepy. You shouldn't be dependent on somebody else for your happiness. See above about being fully capable and functional by yourself. Further it's a pretty huge burden to put on somebody else. You're just shifting the entire responsibility for your life onto another person. That's hardly a sensible thing to do.

So what do I find romantic? It's not that complicated. I enjoy stuff that shows that you know me, care about me, and try to make me happy. Let me give an example. It takes place back when the MacBook was first launched. Ever since the launch of the MacBook Pro I had been waiting impatiently for the Intel version of the iBook. My (then) boyfriend naturally knew this. The MacBook was finally launched while I was at a lecture. My boyfriend sent my a text message telling me they had arrived. I was super excited! When I got back to my office, he had printed out the comparison sheet with both the black and the white MacBook. Next to them he
had written the price if I chose to upgrade them to the largest possible model. That is romantic to me.


* If you thought that being single is binary, think again!
** Yeah, I totally found that word in a dictionary!
*** Or more, I guess, if you're into that stuff.