Describing Mr. Right

I procrastinate a lot. It's really a bad habit for me. Anyway. Procrastination recently led me to the question, "What's your ideal boyfriend?" Which got me thinking. I'm not really sure about my answer to that question. I think it's a lot easier to answer what I don't want in a boyfriend than what I actually want.

So far I've been enjoying my single life and even considered if I want to end up with a boyfriend for the rest of my life. Team zebrahest is a pretty awesome team as it is. It's not like it needs another member. Perhaps I'll be exactly as content or even more just being me. Most likely it's fine either way.

But back to Mr. Right. The first thing that comes to mind is that he must see other people as individuals. I absolutely loathe stereotypes and I get very annoyed when people try to explain things with them. Sure, the brain likes to put people in boxes but don't assume that these boxes are fitting. I believe in evaluating people based on their actions and their words and not on some arbitrary stereotype.

Closely related to the previous point is that he mustn't be impressed by the fact that I'm a woman and do what I do/am what I am. I sometimes get the "You're a girl studying computer science. Wow! That's pretty impressive!" reaction from people. Really? Why would that be impressive? Because girls are naturally stupid and bad at technology so it's a miracle they could be be studying something like computer science? Yeah, that's not gonna succeed in picking me up. Often people don't realize that when they say that it's impressive that I am able to <whatever> and I'm a girl, they're really saying that girls normally aren't able to do that*. If you're going to ditch my gender, we're not going to have a future.

Wow. Got a little rant-y there. Back to the perfect guy. I'm a bit torn about interests. I don't want him to share all my interests. That would probably suffocate me. If I'm going to have a life with somebody else, I'll still want a life of my own as well. On the other hand it would just be weird to have absolutely nothing in common. As I said to Thomas earlier, "But come on! It would be weird having no shared interest. What would you do when you were together then? [pause] Oh wait. That was a silly question."

But anyway. I would probably like at least some common ground. Oddly enough I think I prefer the common ground not to be bridge, AGF, foosball, the same set of friends, or computer science. Those are all social things that I really enjoy and I prefer to just be me when doing them. Not part of a pair. A few of them could also just turn awkward if Mr. Right was really Mr. Wrong and he decided to hold a grudge against me. So perhaps common ground isn't really as important as just "clicking" in some way.

He must also be rational**. Here I don't mean that everything he does is perfectly thought through and he never makes any questionable decisions. I just mean that he must answer well to reason and arguments. He should also be emotionally mature and able to admit mistakes.

This is a bit long already and it no way near describes the ideal boyfriend. Ideal is also a bit strange. Because in reality something could most likely always be better. But I've described stuff that is important to me. A lot of guys live up to this but in the end it's more about "clicking" in some way, having fun together, and loving each other. That would be an ideal boyfriend even though some things might "rationally" be better.


* They might have statistics on their side here in the sense that girls haven't done that so often. But that doesn't mean we aren't able to do it. When one person can succeed in doing something, it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that other people might be able to do that also. Regardless of gender or what other box they might belong to.
** No imaginary boyfriends here!