Casually picking up guys

So the results from the poll got in. When I posted the poll, I was being rather cocky stating that surely I would be right when it was my blog. But it turned out that people didn't vote like I would have done. Let me go through the possibilities in the poll and comment on them.

0. It's a sin if you're not married! I think this one mostly got 3 votes because it's fun. I can't imagine that I have 3 friends thinking that premarital sex is a sin. Because, really? That's just absurd! As a friend of mine once said, "I don't believe in marriage without premarital sex." That might be a bit strong, after all you can get lucky. But I definitely get her point.

1. With 11 votes this was the winner. Even if you subtract 4 votes for my sister's excessive voting, it would still be a clear winner with 7 votes. I can sort of see the point here. Sort of. But I have to wonder. If only one person is okay within 24 hours, then how many are okay within 48 hours? 2 or still just 1? If the latter applies, then how long do you have to wait before you can pick somebody else up? Do you have to give the guy your number pretending you would really like him to call while he pretends he will call just to keep up some illusion of it being about more than sex? What if you try all evening picking up a guy but without luck? Is it just game over for the evening or are you allowed to pick up somebody else because you technically haven't been with anyone yet?

Yeah, that's a whole lot of wondering. If you plan on turning everything into a relationship, I can see how it might seem like a bad thing to pick up more than 1 person within 24 hours. But we're not talking relationships here. Besides, how will you ever get to participate in a threesome if you can't pick up more than one guy within 24 hours? Wait. I know several answers to that one.

2. This one got 2 votes. I'm not sure how I like this option. If you don't feel that 1 should be the limit, then why should it be 2? Sure, in practice you might never pick up 3 persons within 24 hours. But why shouldn't it be okay when 2 are? To me this option mostly seems like an option for people who have realized that perhaps it doesn't have to be about relationships but still quite haven't escaped the perceived societal pressure.

3 and 4. Neither of these received any votes. This makes perfect sense to me. Obviously societal pressure isn't your biggest concern, when you think it's okay to pick up more than 2 persons within 24 hours. So you might as well go all the way and state that there isn't any specific limit.

Unlimited, but don't let any of them know! To me this one is tacky at best. I can certainly see Tveon's point about how it's not really guaranteed to come up in the conversation. It's not like the first thing you do when you meet someone is to hand over a full report of your whereabouts for the last 24 hours. However, what I meant with this option was that you make a huge effort to avoid someone noticing that you've already picked up another person earlier. That I dislike. Sure, not mentioning it might be perfectly reasonably but actively concealing it? Yeah, not so much.

Unlimited, but don't make an effort to hide anything. By now it should be fairly obvious that this option got my vote. Why I think you shouldn't make an effort to hide anything, should be apparent from the last paragraph. So what's with the unlimited part? This might also be self-evident from my comments above. Nevertheless, I'll explain.

I don't really like rules of the type "If you get a girl's number, you cannot call before minimum 2.8 days later", "If you break up with someone, you cannot date anyone else before at least a month later", or "If you make out with someone, you have to wait minimum 24 hours before making out with someone else." What's with the fixation with hard numbers? I just find it silly.* If you need rules like that, you probably have another problem.**

I firmly believe that a lot of these rules were invented to make people appear different than they really are. And I don't think they work. If you're desperate, waiting 2.8 days before you call someone isn't going to chance that. If you're not desperate, calling before 2.8 days have passed isn't going to change that either.

So in the end I just don't believe in following rules like that to avoid people's judgment. If everyone involved is consenting adults, I say "Go for it!" Or, as Belle de Jour put it, "[D]on't ever turn down pleasure because you were afraid of what other people might say."


*Except for the Standard Creepiness Rule. I like that one. But of course everything happening between consenting adults is okay. And it doesn't work that well for people younger than 14.
**Which would explain my very firm and solid no relationships before June 22 2008 rule. I simply cannot be trusted to make sensible relationship decisions when I'm crushing on a guy.